Well happy birthday to you - not

Let this be a warning: If you do something stupid or insensitive, expect someone to ruthlessly write about it if it’s warranted. Trust me, it usually is.

Today I was working away like the steadfast employee that I am [insert sarcasm] when I glanced at my phone to see my brother Luke calling. In the five seconds it took for me to answer the phone I was trying to figure out why in the world he would be calling me on a Thursday afternoon (after all, band practice isn’t until Saturday).

I was immediately suspicious when the first word out of his mouth was an overly-friendly “Hey!” instead of his usual obnoxious greeting “Wazzzzzzzzz-uuuuuuuuuuup!” My suspicion turned into intrigue and a tinge of worry when he followed his “Hey!” greeting with, “I have a dilemma.”

First of all, since when does Luke call me with any dilemma? Second, when am I ever trusted to give wise or rational advice?

I couldn’t see Luke, but I could hear him fidgeting on the other end of the phone line. I could also hear his reluctance to explain his “dilemma.”

So, pray tell, what was this big dilemma? Problems in honeymoon la-la land? Of course not. Trouble with acing that big exam like his sis? Nope. Or is there trouble in paradise with his little brother/BFF? Sort of.

Luke’s dilemma did have something to do with Dale, but not in the way you might expect. They weren’t fighting over who's the greatest Halo champion of them all. Luke just wanted me to help pay for a birthday gift for Dale. Since our mother is hosting a birthday party for Dale tomorrow Luke wanted to get something spectacular for his special sibling — who apparently isn’t me by the way. Did I forget to mention that this birthday party for Dale is also for me, my sister-in-law and our dear grandmother?

So there's his dilemma. Luke just wanted my help in purchasing a gift for Dale’s birthday while readily admitting he wasn’t getting me, or anyone else, a gift. In addition, he needed my help to buy Dale this $60 gift. Wow.

Luke asked for my opinion. I’m sure the rational, selfless person would have responded with a hearty “yes.” I, on the other hand, gave Luke a verbal lashing for having the gall to ask for my help when I just had a birthday too. Realizing the absurdity of his request Luke immediately began giggling.

Now I don’t really care that Luke didn’t want to buy me a gift, but I do care that he blatantly showed favoritism. He must not remember the good ol’ days when we’d ditch Dale to play with the “cool” kids.

So unfortunately little Dale won’t be getting a gift from his beloved Luke, but then again, neither will the rest of us.

The circle of life revisited

I was going down memory lane this morning when all of a sudden I felt my lungs constrict, my lip quiver and my eyes water. I wasn't looking through old family photos or watching family home videos of when I was learning how to walk.

I was watching "The Lion King." Yes, good old Walt Disney's 1994 classic.

Remember when Mufasa explains the circle of life to Simba or when (Warning: SPOILER Alert!) Mufasa sacrifices himself to save Simba from the wild stampede? Yes, my eyes were feeling a little misty. Luckily a tear drop didn't actually fall because that would have been really embarrassing.

Today was probably the first time I've watched this Disney movie in more than 10 years. Not only are the family messages moving (sacrifice, love, something else...) but it did take me back to when this movie first came out. I actually remember watching this when I was 6 years old and being so distraught when Mufasa dies.

I was reminded how the world was so much simpler then when your biggest dilemma was a cartoon lion dying for his cub.

It also reminded me how much better Disney used to be. Don't get me wrong — I love some of the newer movies ("Up" anyone??) — but they do seem to lack the magic. I mean, if forced to watch about some guy living in the land of raining meatballs or a little lion king, well there's really no choice.

So am I alone here (it wouldn't be the first time) or do you prefer the classics as well?