Better luck next year

Well, I’ve learned my lesson.

You won’t see me trying to be clever during Halloween again.I attended a Halloween costume party this weekend and made an effort to wear anoriginal costume from supplies I already had at home. It was a noble effortthat fell flat.

Since I’m a news junkie, I incorrectly assumed most peopleat least hear about big news stories — like the big wild animal escape from aprivate wildlife preserve in Zanesville, Ohio, for example. In short, a man whoowned more than 50 exotic animals (tigers, bears, monkeys, leopards, etc...)set them all loose and then shot himself. It happened earlier this month andwas all over the news.

So as I was rummaging through my supplies at home, I cameupon some cat ears (oddly enough, that looked like a leopard’s) and an oldleopard-print belt (previously worn for my bachelorette party). The figurativelight bulb came on and I had a “great” idea — I could go to the party as anescaped leopard from this animal preserve. It was not only original, but it wastimely. Award-winning, right? Nope.

I should have known that most people wouldn’t get it when I tried explaining my costume idea to my best friend hours before the party. Instead of a pat on the back I received a blank stare. After I explained the storybehind the costume she was generous enough to give me pity praise for my“great” costume idea.

Still, I finished my costume with some fake whiskers and anice little sign on my back identifying myself as “Property of the ThompsonWildlife Preserve, Zanesville, Ohio.”

I was overcome with déjà vu at the party as people looked atme with blank stares followed by polite, plastered on smiles as I explained mycostume.

For future reference: If your costume needs explaining itmight not be as good as you think.

p.s. Become an informed citizen and read the news! Oh, and Happy Halloween.

If you're hotter than a pistol...

I don’t mean to come off as “high and mighty,” but I usually don’t swear. But there are always those times when a swear word seems to be the only way to truly describe how you’re feeling. These are one of those times.

This isn’t a gossip hub. Chris and I are great and all my friends are speaking with me (I think). This is just one of those wonderful work incidents where you have to deal with hostile and paranoid maniacs impolite people. I got in a passive-aggressive battle via email today. I was the bigger person in the end, but as my dad would say, I still feel hotter than a pistol.

Now most people who know me would agree it usually doesn’t take much to, well, piss me off (sorry mom!). But there are those rare instances when I have reasonable grounds for being agitated, disheartened or enraged. Does the Clarion circa 2009-2010 ring a bell, anyone? It should for some people Marie, Jaclyn, Noah, Calvin, Jason who shall not be named.

Wow, tangent. Anyways…

So how do you stay calm when all you want to do is reach through your email and throttle the person on the other side? Give these a shot:

Heap on the coals. Even though your first instinct may be to maim your “enemy” — do the opposite. Some may take this approach to be the better person, but if you’re more like me then you should know that nothing quite disgruntles and confuses a person more than unwarranted kindness. Plus, some guy once wrote that if you go the nice-route it’s like “heaping burning coals” on their head. Brilliant.

Laughter is the best medicine. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Actually, it is. Find something dependable to make you laugh. It could be a person, a memory, a YouTube video or those old family photos of your conservative parents looking like some major hippies. Laughter will take the edge off and will bring you one step closer to clearing your head.

Rehash. No, I’m not referencing Twitter or an acceptable form of gossip (Is there such a thing?). Talk through the situation with someone you can trust to give you sound advice in moving forward. This is especially important if you’re going to be sending some kind of documented response (written or emailed), in which case you’re going to want someone to read it before you send it. Trust me…

Think before you post. Especially on Facebook or Twitter. If you want to say “Urg, curse the $@#! world” — that’s fine. Just be ready for a swarm of public questions from people about what’s going on in your life lately, despite the fact you haven’t seen most of these people in five years. These people are often referred to as busybodies and gossipmongers caring individuals looking out for your best interest recently.

Carrots and celery sticks. Yeah right. Bring on the chocolate truffles, Laffy Taffys (remember you gotta laugh?) and chocolate chip ice cream. After the horrible day you’ve just had you’re going to want to relax and treat yourself. Literally. So do it already. Hide your running shoes and dig out those sweatpants!

Wanted: Brave-enough-soul

I’m not going to lie. I enjoy Halloween. I love haunted houses, corn mazes, costumes and candy. I also love watching horror movies. Nothing quite makes your heart beat faster or sweat stream down your face like a good scare.

I went to the Trail of Terror in Shakopee last night. Now the night didn’t exactly start very promising. The Trail of Terror has a bunch of mazes, rides, food and “scary” room/houses to walk through. I was a bit excited.

First up was a ride on the hayride “through the gates of hell,” or something like that. Let’s just say if that was the ride to hell, well, then hell isn’t all that scary. The ride was a poor excuse for some scares. I ended up giggling through most of the ride.

Since that was the first endeavor of the night turned out to be lame kind of disappointing, I didn’t have much hope for the rest of the attractions.

I was kind of wrong.

Next we went in the indoor maze, which really should be called a haunted house. I was pleasantly scared. I jumped. I screamed. And I giggled a little bit too.

I didn’t get any nightmares from the experience, but I did get what I was looking for, which was some good old-fashioned fear. The rest of the attractions were fine, but that “maze” was the best.

Now I’m wondering if I really could handle the Soap Factory’s basement? You have to be over 18 years old and you are required to sign a waiver before participating. They also provide you a “safe” word that you can scream any time during the experience and someone will escort you out.

I first heard about this when I was a freshman in college and I’ve been intrigued ever since. Still, I think I might be too scared to actually go through with it. If signing a waiver doesn’t sound that bad, how about hearing about past years where they’ve strapped you to a chair in a dark room…

Yikes.

Regardless of how intense or scary that sounds, I am now on a mission to find a brave enough soul to embark on the “journey” with me to this haunted basement. If we survive, great! If not, well...

Is it just me or has a lot changed?

I’m ashamed. I recently realized that it’s been more than a year since I last blogged. To be fair, I’ve had a little bit on my plate. In the last year I got a new job and a house. Oh yeah, and I got married.

But still. Shame on me.

Well, I’m back in the saddle. I’ve polished my keyboard (not really) and cracked my knuckles. Let’s get rolling.

First, I’ve been wracking my brain for some kind of theme for this blog, but frankly I’ve decided to raise the white flag and keep it as a collection of miscellaneous musings.

Now even though a lot has happened over the last year, it won’t do much good to recap everything. First of all, that would be like a book. Second, I just don’t think the whole year is worth recapping. So how about some of the highlights?

* New job: I work at the Stillwater Gazette, a.k.a. my hometown newspaper. I’m a reporter (yay!) and pretty much cover everything in Stillwater and the surrounding communities. And when I say I cover them, I mean that I try my best despite the fact that it’s at least a 2-3 person job.

*House: I’m a homeowner. I bet you didn’t see that one coming, huh?

*Married life: This is by far the best thing that has happened in my life so far. Wow, that probably sounded like a quote from a 1950’s homemaker, but it’s true. I still have my career and what could actually beat coming home to your favorite person every day?

OK, recapping is over. Those, in a nutshell, are the milestones of the year, which most of you probably already knew. Still, I figured they’re still worth mentioning.