No, sir

I’m used to setting the facts straight.

Usually I have to remind people that “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” is one of the best shows of all TIME, “The Hangover” is overrated and Abraham Lincoln was not a vampire hunter. But yesterday I wasn't prepared to correct one of the most blatant facts ever: I am a woman.

Let me start from the beginning. I was merely trying to pay for my chicken fajita burrito at Chipotle when the cashier returned my debit card while uttering three words a woman never wants to hear: Thank you SIR. (OK, maybe it’s only one word we don’t want to hear.)

First of all, since when did this generation learn how to be polite? Second, was I really having that bad of a hair day for this “young man” to think I’m a guy?

I mean, I can understand why he was confused. Who wouldn’t think someone wearing heals and a pink (form-fitting) shirt was indeed a man? Looks like someone wasn’t paying attention during human anatomy in high school.

In his defense, I was wearing my hair in a ponytail…. and mascara.

As soon as the words left his adolescent mouth he actually looked up from his cash register and realized his lawsuit-inducing mistake. It was actually quite enjoyable (and yet horrifying) to watch him dig himself into a bigger hole as he made an unsuccessful attempt to redeem himself.

Cashier: Thank you sir.

Awkward pause

Cashier: Oh my gosh [insert squeaky tone]! I am SO sorry!!

Me/girl: It’s fine [insert awkward smile]

Cashier: I can’t believe I said that!

Me/girl: It’s really fine (Drop the subject before I drop you)

Cashier: I’ve done this before! But this is the first time today.

Me/girl: Ok. Really, it’s fine. (Shut up you fool!)

Instead of bolting to my car while pulling an imaginary hoodie sweatshirt over my head, I had to sit down to eat my food with a friend who was meeting me for dinner. Ironically enough, I decided to sit in a booth directly across from the cashier so he could wallow in shame, misery and sheer embarrassment for the next 45 minutes.

I may not be a lady, but I am most certainly a girl.